Never an Island...

Living in the Midwest for a half century, I have seen the pain, loss, fear, desperation, helplessness, and confusion resulting from the devastation caused by tornadoes, flooding, and fires many times in my lifetime.  I have helped how and when I could but at the end of the day, I admittedly could let it go and return home to a good night's rest in my own bed.   I was lucky through all these disasters; I did not lose a loved one, a home, a furbaby, or a cherished family heirloom.

In 1993, Des Moines, Iowa suffered wide spread flooding of the city and, ultimately, the failure of our water treatment plant...  but I had still avoided the brunt of a disaster.  There was water in the streets but I could still return to my home.  We had no flowing water for several days but I could still flush with rain water.   We did not have potable water for 10 days but plenty was trucked in to distribution sites and I could collect our allotted amount daily.  My basement had several inches of sewer water back up from over full storm drains and many things were ruined but I was still able to sleep in my own bed each night.  My employer sat up a satellite location to conduct business with not much more than a laptop and a pen but I had porta-potties, food, and drink.  We couldn't take showers in the heat of the Iowa summer but I was in a crowd of those in the same predicament. 

The community of Des Moines and its surrounding areas pulled together during the flood and worked toward our common goal.  Offers were posted by those that had wells or other water sources to do a load of laundry for you...   rides were shared...  couches were offered.... everyone shared what they had.... it was an amazing time, believe it or not.   We needed each other and we were there for each other.

After the flooding, I was more cognizant of the kind of help that victims needed after a disaster and I adjusted my "helping" and its timing to be more focused on practicality.   Physical limitations restricted me to certain activities but I was more aware of the right time and way to offer my assistance or help.   For example, I may have a washer and dryer to donate but if someone does not have a house, immediately after the disaster is not the time to be pushing a donation of furniture or appliances.  What they may need immediately is clean up supplies, child care, a place for a furbaby, temporary storage for what they can salvage, or place to sleep.

After the World Trade Center, I again adjusted my thinking and decided to take a few more risks and, hopefully, have fewer regrets about missing out on the knocking I would hear now and then at opportunity's door.   My first daring adventure was to go to Mardi Gras with little more than a couple days notice and ride with people who had nothing more than a friend in common with me.  I will never regret this choice and many of the others that followed.

I moved from the Midwest to...  lets say "less friendly" community and during the decade I lived there, I continued to help during disasters, donating quilts to local groups or families in need, offering assistance, checking on friends and acquaintances that were alone or ill, and trying to be a good deed doer when I could.  It was the right thing to do but it never felt right.  It just never really felt good like it used to.

An opportunity prompted me to buy a property at the foot of the Saint Catalina Mountains in Tucson.  The property and its view, for me, was of such peace, beauty, and awe - something my soul was desperately needing.   My settling in has been slow and there are still boxes everywhere and not much on the walls yet.  I have many reasons/excuses for my slow claiming of this new house but that is another story.

During my time in the Tucson, I have found myself in predicaments....  and needed some good deeds done for me (the reasons/excuses for the slowing settling in).  With much trepidation and fear of rejection, I reached out and asked for help.  My Tucson neighborhood has not ceased to amaze me with offers of assistance and even in the levels of assistance that were offered.  Someone actually assisted me in doing a good deed for someone else!

I feel at home...  its almost a "Des Moines-ish" kind of community feeling... and I am so very grateful for the odd collection of risks and opportunities that brought me to Tucson and allowed/forced me to get to know this community so quickly.

I, on the other hand, have been able to offer very little to others during their times of need but I feel that tide changing.   Once I get through this last bit of clean up of some personal garbage, I plan to resume offering what I can and I fully expect I will feel wonderful about sharing in this amazing community.

Yesterday, I received a report of a wildfire in the mountains above my home.   I am away from home helping a friend so there is not much I can do but watch and wonder... Will I be helping others in the aftermath or will they be helping me?

I pray that no one will need help with anything disaster related and the fire will be extinguished without loss of property or life.   But just in case, I think Tucson is the kind of place I want to be if disaster must happen.

Those self imposed rules and regulations

Its funny how our individual brains work and how we develop our own processes for solving problems.  Some people go directly for the endgame and some consider alternate options based on urgency, time, finances, skill, difficulty, etc.  I actually enjoy the challenge of finding a way to complete a project with things on hand, although I seldom manage it.  And, being a Libra, I must also add the "contemplation"  to my list of things to consider.

The functional reason for saving is that I will need it.
What makes it really fun is finding alternate uses for the stuff I've collected.  The explanation for the "alternate use" excitement is perhaps heredity.

It's so clear now... the meaning of giving

Note that I am posting this with only minimal proofreading.  I felt it was important to get it posted today.  I will, at some point, make some corrections....  or maybe not.  Maybe it needs to be left as-is... raw with emotion. 

Several months ago, my brother, Jay, passed away after suffering a cardiac arrest and brain death.  Once it was determined that he was no longer really with us, the organ donation process was started, per his wishes.  When all was in place, we would remove him from life support, let him go, and send our prayers with each of his donations, wanting the recipients to lead a full and rewarding life as a result of his gift.   It was an odd feeling...  we were heartbroken to lose our son, brother, father, grandfather, and uncle but satisfied that he could  still bestow these gifts upon those that needed them.

Of course, I understood the organ donation process....  someone donates their stuff and someone else gets the stuff.  Sounds simple, right?   What I didn't understand was what it takes to give gifts of this magnitude....  and what it is to receive them.

I won't lie.  The donation process was long, uncomfortable, and well, awful.   I felt I had ran through every ounce of emotional energy to get to the point of making the decision to let Jay go.  By the end of the donation process, I was not sure I could go through it again...  or if I wanted to donate my organs and put my loved ones through the process even though I was fully conscious of the fact that those that received the benefit of Jay's organs and tissues had been far more uncomfortable for far longer than I.  

The benefits of Jay's donations were realized almost immediately.  We were advised that his kidneys were successfully gifted to two gentlemen the very next day and that they were doing well.  Yes, I felt some gratification.  We were told the remaining tissue would be treated and stored until it was needed and could help many individuals, including burn victims.

But the process still sucked.   It seemed like we had been in limbo forever as we waited to make the decision to let Jay go and for the donation process.   It went through my mind that we could quit...  back out...  I wanted it over...  I knew we wouldn't...  I knew we couldn't... but it didn't stop the desperate thoughts.

It seemed that for months, my thoughts of my last moments with Jay were related to the donation process.  I was a little resentful this uncomfortable process replaced the memories I wanted to hold on to from those last hours with him.   As they say, time heals all and I learned to move those memories around and focus on the ones I wanted to remember.  The sharp edges of the donation process softened and my life moved forward.  I had no idea that this would all come back to me with such a velocity that my world would be forever changed.

My husband, a retired firefighter, has suffered with the traditional problems of long-time firemen:  bad knees, bad back, and bad shoulders.  Each year, his range of motion was decreasing and his pain was increasing. 

His right shoulder was repaired a number of years ago without incident and it was time to repair the left shoulder.  However, complications popped up. 

While three of the ligaments could be repaired, the ligament that runs along the top of the shoulder and is attached to the ball was so damaged, and had been damaged so long, that repair was impossible.  Years ago, the only option for this type of situation would be full shoulder replacement.   Shoulder replacement was complicated, possibly a short term solution, and required a long recovery period.

Fortunately, advancements in modern medicine included development of a consistently successful grafting of a two sections of tendons.  Cool!!!   Let's do it.


This morning, we prepared for surgery, arriving timely at the surgical center and feeling like we knew the routine since we had done this before.

This afternoon, my husband received a section of dermis, specifically a section of tendon, from a donor.  This donor section was grafted to the damaged end of his tendon and the surgeon was able to rebuild the attachment to the ball of the shoulder.

I hadn't even considered how a section of tendon would just magically appear at the end of the surgeon's scalpel to be grafted to my husband's tendon.  I am sure they mentioned it at some point..... didn't they?  Then I considered it.  And that's when it struck me....

An organ donor.

This evening, my husband is home, in his recliner,  looking forward to being able to use his shoulder again.

An organ donor.

Someone passed away and their family waited patiently, and probably uncomfortably, while the process was initiated and completed.... and their efforts helped my husband. 

Did that someone's family also pray that the recipient of the tissue would lead a full and rewarding life with their gift?

While I waited for the surgery to be completed, I further contemplated the lives involved in this exchange.   I could have looked at it as just a surgery.  No, I couldn't.  Perhaps prior to my brother's death I could, but things seemed different to me now.  When had they changed?  Maybe my brother's final gift to me was an awakening... an appreciation of the things I could so easily take for granted...  or not even notice.

Of course, the donor's information is private and protected but I knew they must have wanted to help others by giving what they could no longer use.  They gave to enrich the lives of others...   they gave to people they did not know.  They gave regardless of color, sexual orientation, or religion.   They gave everything they had.   They couldn't give more.    They had to be a good person...  how could they not?

I considered my husband.... a good man....  a fireman.   A man who chose a career that required him to risk himself to help others.   He helped others without knowing their name, their age, or if they likes artichokes.  He let kids wear his helmet, offered help on the side of the highway, and pulled a Great Dane and her puppies from a burning building.  He was a man who was viewed as a hero but wanted nothing more than to never, EVER hear another alarm.  He was a man who continued on, knowing his knees and back and shoulders were being destroyed.

Ok, so we have a tissue donor and a recipient.  But it seems more than that.  There is a circle here somehow...    someone helped someone who helped someone.

Perhaps I am feeling that this particular circle is more personal than it really is.  Perhaps it only matters that I am grateful for the two parts of the circle that is in my line of sight:  the fireman... and for the donor...  two people who gave so much... two people that most likely never met.... but two people who gave as much as they could.

Perhaps I would like to believe that, on some cosmic level, I can see this circle in its entirety.  A fireman helped the donor.  The donor helped a fireman.

It could have so many names:
Karma...
Paying it forward...
Kismet.... 
Fate...
Luck...

Doesn't really matter, I guess.  The important thing is that I now understand about the giving of what can not be bought... and the receiving of what can not be sold.   I want to be part of this wonderful cycle... No.  I want to be part of many of them....  now and forever.

To the family of the donor...   thank you...  and I understand.

Thrilled with the contrtibutions!

I offered some of the faux doggie vests just prior to Easter, offering to mail the vests at my cost with a donation of any amount to the post-secondary education account I set up for my niece and nephews after my brother, their sole provider, passed.

I received three adorable photos of poopies sporting their vests....

How cute are they?

What is YOUR poopie wearing for Easter?

Daisy modeling something from our spring line.

Daisy is a beautiful big-boned girl

weighing about 100# and wears a LG.

EFFECTIVE 4/11/17, ITEMS WILL NO LONGER BE SENT IN TIME FOR EASTER but will continue to be available while supplies last. 

We are all out shopping for our traditional Easter bonnets..... well, maybe not.

Sadly, I think the days of Easter bonnets are pretty much over.  I don't look great in hats but LOVE seeing others wearing their Spring bonnets!!  Its a tradition that I enjoy.  Don't you just love seeing little girls in their bonnets? And the elderly women...  they wear them with such panache!

I do think most shop for something for Easter, or Easter dinner, or at least for spring.  

My question is: what is your dog (or poopie as I call them) wearing for Easter?  Nothing?  How fair is that?

My faux vests for the poopies have been so popular that I have decided to offer them to you!!  And they even have a faux pocket for their watch !!

I know a lot of people do not dress their furbabies but even an "undressed" dog can look cool.

Sorry I don't have anything for the girls yet...  maybe soon!!

For a contribution amount of your choosing to the Jay Barton Memorial Fund*, I will mail your poopie vest in plenty of time for your dog's Easter dress-up.  This offer will expire in 7 calendar days (to ensure receipt by Easter) but may expire without notice, however, all completed transactions will be honored. 

Here is how it works:

1.  Choose a vest from the photos in this posting, based on size and preference.   Vests are made of a durable wash and dry polyester non-ravel fabric with a Velcro closure and is NOT intended to be used to restrain. 

Please be aware that the vest should NOT be left unattended as the adorable "bone" button(s) may create a choking hazard to children or dogs. 

2.  Visit any Wells Fargo branch and deposit your contribution into the Jay Barton Memorial Fund*, account # 9703925777, nicknamed For the Kids.  Remember that you choose the amount of your contribution.  Save your transaction receipt.
 
Contributions may be made by check or cash at any branch or via remote banking if you are a WF customer. 

3.  Email your contribution transaction #, along with your name, address, and the vest you desire to me by clicking on this link or jax2127@msn.com.  The transaction number can be found near the middle of your receipt, just above the date.  

The number of each style available is noted behind its code.  Please list first and second choice.  If no second choice is noted and your chosen style has been depleted, you will receive another style of my choosing in the appropriate size.  Note there are TWO photos of size MEDIUM.

4.  I will verify your transaction number and mail your very special vest within 48 hours of your contribution.  I will also update the posting photos based on supplies.  Sorry we cannot ship outside the 48 contiguous states.

Vests will be mailed first-in, first-out.  Please know that styles may vary slightly from photo.

5.  Enjoy the adorable that is your doggie in Easter duds. 

I would love to see some photos of your puppies in their finery!!    Please FORWARD your photos with your poopie's name!

Questions may be posted in comments or emailed.

Size XS, fitting necks 7" - 9". 

Choices include (L to R) 

XSArgyle (5 4)                                                 XSGray (5 4)

Size SM, fitting necks 9" - 11 1/2". 

Choices include (C lockwise from top left):

SMjacquard (5 4)     SMnavy (5 3)       SMblack (5)     SMknit (5)

Size MD fitting necks 11 1/2" - 15".

  Choices include (clockwise):

MDbox (1)                 MDstripeR (2)                 MDstripeW (1)

Size MD fitting necks 11 1/2" - 15". 
Choices include (L to R):

MDpolka (2)                    MDbrown (1)

Size LG, fitting necks up to 20".

  Choices include (cloxkwise):

LGstripe (1)     LGjacquard  (1 0)      LGbox (1)      LGwave (2 1)

* Monies contributed to the Jay Barton Memorial Fund will be used solely for post-secondary education for Jay's minor children, Jayson, Jeff, Jack, and Bryanna.  Thank you for helping these kids.

I was recently away from home for a couple weeks for some doctor visits and to see family and friends.  It was a busy two weeks.  I was supposed to be away only one week but found there was just not enough time so I extended it (kudos to Southwest Airlines for fee-free changes).

Moving between various sets of family and friends, I worked on rebuilding a relationship with a high school friend I had lost touch with, attended the AQS quilt show in Des Moines, broke bread many times with different subsets of family and friends, delivered custom dolls clothes, shopped for new space with my BFF and her boyfriend, and spent time working on dresses donated for the Angels.  The time was filled to the brim with laughing, crying, reminiscing, and very special time with the DIL and grands: D and twins M and L. 

I was able to attend three of the grand's football games; L's last game (she ran a touchdown!!) and two for D, including his last game. 

D made a number of fantastic blocks and a very timely sack...  his team was rather amazing...  If I remember correctly, they had one tie and zero losses for the season. 



L's game involved all three kids as M was part of the cheer squad for L's team and D was the waterboy.   I commend mom for teaching the kids the importance of participation and proud of the kids for following through.

The kids shared that their school needed new dodge balls.  We discussed ways to help the school by raising the funds to purchase dodgeballs (can drives, etc)....   I committed to a donation if they reached a certain goal.  I am proudly awaiting their decision on how to go about raising the funds.

During my visit, the kids wanted to watch Titanic.  I was pretty impressed that three kids WANTED to watch it.   We all giggled about how many times Rose said "Jack" and there were guesses thrown around.  I googled it and L guessed it exactly on the nose...  Rose said, yelled, or cried "Jack" 76 times.


They were pretty much transfixed watching Titanic....  at least until dinner was ready. 

While the grands all love animals, including Mom, M is the soft hearted one that wants to adopt or care for every animal that needs love.  Their menagerie currently includes:

Keiki, who probably spends most of her time with L. 

Keiki is shy but like other cats, she watches everything from afar and

she will shower you with love when SHE wants to.

Wrigley is a 5 mo old Vizsla mix. 

I think the best way to describe him is that he is rather like a new born deer trying to stand up on ice. 

Wrigley is THE most lovable, cuddly, Velcro-like animal I have ever met.

Hunter is a loveable and very social male.

He seems to have a facial comment for everything that goes on in the house. 

His favorite place to be is drinking from a dripping faucet or with his momma, the DIL.

They are considering adding a German Shepherd or GS mix to the family when the time is right.  They may need more vacuum cleaners....

As for the Angelbabies, I brought back two suitcases full of donated dresses (wedding dresses can take up a lot of space) (kudos once again to Southwest Airlines) and friend KS is bringing MORE dresses to me in November.  We are still working through all the dresses donated as a result of the KCCI-TV report on us and word of mouth and still trying to catch up.

I was only able to see my son for a couple minutes at a time but that was all the situation allowed.  It was a wonderful time with family and friends and especially the grands.  While my time away was loaded with emotions, some bad, there were, oh, so many good ones.  I  kept my promises and showered everyone with all the love I had. 

I continue to be blessed.

I remember 9/11.  I didn't personally know anyone who lost their lives as a result of it but the event changed my life nonetheless.

I had to acknowledge the evil in our world.  The evil that happened in other countries that I had read about in newspapers finally touched my life.  I mourned those that lose their lives because of terrorists.  Through my husband, I hear that first responders continue to die of cancer believed to be a result of carcinogens they were exposed to during the rescue.  I read the newspaper differently now. 

And I acknowledged my own mortality. 

I stopped accepting a life with regrets and I started living a life that took advantage of opportunities that were presented to me. 

I started doing more for others......

EX:  I started donating hair (in the name of friends and family who are associated with cancer), I made pet beds for shelters, with a group of friends I started making quilts for disaster victims and those that need comfort, and I started Angelgownsbyjacki

I took a few more of what I previously considered huge risks....

EX:  I took part in a long weekend trip to the first Mardi Gras after Katrina, I moved across country, I bought my first longarm, I finally accepted the limitations of my health and retired from my job, I took a cruise with quilting people I didn't know well, I forced myself to say "no" when I thought I was being abused or taken advantage of by "friends"

and I started doing more of what made me happy.

EX:  I love doing Angelgownsbyjacki, I am seeing more of my mom, I am spending more time sewing/quilting, I am doing the traveling I always wanted to do (Hawaii, NYC, Jamaica, Bahama, San Diego, etc) , I bought my "I always wanted one of those" car,  I joined a quilt guild, I upgraded to a bigger and better longarm

With these changes, I note that I have become less tolerant....  of takers... of abusers....  of those that that suck my happiness.  I haven't decided if that is a bad thing.  I am happy to help or lend a hand but I will not do it for them.  Each of us needs to make our own happiness and within our skills, we all have something to offer the world that will make us happy.  I have found some of mine.

At the end of the day, I know I am blessed.  I thank God for who I am and what I am.  I also know I can't change the entire world or eradicate the evil that is in it, so I am making me and my little part of the world a bit better.   That's all any of us can do.

I try not to talk too much about my wonderful grandkids....  but sometimes, I just can't help it.

Earlier in the year, my mom was visiting and we ran down south to spend a day with my grands.

We were snooping around in G's room (the oldest female) and found the most interesting items.   We hadn't yet gotten caught so I photographed some of what we found... many of them with a pen or pencil for scale.

A bowl of cereal and a box of donuts

Three little chickens hatching from their eggs.

Bowl of pasta and two tomatoes.

Pastries and an ice cream cone.

We were so intrigued that we went and found my DIL to discuss the "amazing" that was G.  She  brought out a few more items....

A house full of furniture and some assorted items. 

Note the claw footed bathtub with faucet.

So we went in search of the amazing G herself.   We asked lots of questions about her craft and how she does it.   After much conversation, G's gramma and great gramma talked her into making something special for us so we could watch.  Of course, G acquiesced.

The artist known as "G".

I was gifted a tiny rose, held by the smallest size binder clip.

Great Gramma requested a pair of flip flops.

G is pretty cool, huh?  We are just pretty proud of her!

I know a nice person, and her family, when I read about it.

I don't usually read obituaries.  While we might be of an "age" that people we know are passing away with increased frequency (an unfortunate fact we must face), we don't really know that many people in our area...  we haven't lived here that long.

A few months ago, I was reading through the paper and for whatever reason, an obit attracted my eye.  Trusting my gut, I read it.

After reading it, I cut it out and saved it.  At the time, I was not really sure why.  Every now and then I would read the obit again.  Today, I decided to share it with you.  I will not share names or specifics but my heart wants me to share....

The woman was originally from Cedar Rapids, Iowa, which may have been what my eye noticed, but lived in Phoenix.  I continued reading but I did not recognize the name or photo.

My breath catches every time I read the last couple sentences of the obit, from which I will quote here.

"Mom had a good life, she loved God and people and that's all any of us are called to do.  If you would like to do something in her memory, write a heartfelt letter to a friend.  She'd like that."

I commend her family for honoring her life in such simple terms.  There was no listing of her travels, education, or a career.  No mention of gardening awards or blue ribbons.  Her life was honored by stating what was important to her:  Her God, her family, and her love for others.

Thank you to her family for helping me let go of the little things and remember what is important.

The gift of friendship given freely of my friends rival none.   Thus, I am thrilled to be able to reciprocate now and again.

Friend Leann was blessed with a beautiful new granddaughter and what better gift could I give to Leann and Emma than my time, love, and attention?

Emma deserved a quilt as cuddly as she is....  so flannel was the fabric of choice.  Plus, little Emma lives in Iowa so flannel is extremely fitting.

Isn't Emma beautiful??

Ta Da!!  Last but NOT least...  Quilt # 5 finished in April 2016....  this one had to wait until it was gifted before I could share it.  This one is for the soon-to-arrive baby of an adored cousin.

Mommy-to-be requested woodland animals....  but didn't give me much more information.  I guess she trusted me....

I found a fabric line I really liked and sent a hint of the fabrics (didn't want to give too much away) to the "parents" just to make sure I was on the right track.  I received encouraging feedback but no confirmation that the colors were correct.  Again, I guess she trusted me..... 

I decided that a bow tie pattern would allow the muted colors to show well.

The layout game:  positioning the blocks in a.....  well, somewhat-sort-of kinda-organized manner!

When I received the invitation to the baby shower, I was pretty sure I had the colors right and was pretty excited about the whole thing.

With it quilted in baby animals in a cream color, I decided the fabric, the bow tie pattern, and the crib size measurements would make a perfect "little man" quilt for the precious baby they will raise into a "big man".  

And, of course, I included a hand embroidered label....

Dear A and B: 

Enjoy the screaming bundle of joy that will bring you soggy nappies, sweet baby breath, late night feedings, soft sighs, earaches, cuddles, sleepless days, peanut butter and jelly kisses, frogs and rocks in the pant pocket, that soft place to nuzzle just below their ear, gum in the hair, crushed dandelion bouquets, temper tantrums, and handmade cards reading things like "I love you like candy". 

Enjoy EVERY SINGLE MOMENT!!
Love, Jacki

Memories.... and acceptance

I received a message from a niece long ago... and just rediscovered it in my "drafts" folder.  Better to post late than never, right? 

"Aunt Jacki.... I still have the blankets you crocheted for me when I was a baby. There are 2 of them and now my daughter uses them. It's crazy that a 30 year old blanket is still getting used."

Sometimes at estate, tag, or garage sales, I see blankets or quilts that have made and given with love but have outlived their old lives and are looking for new lives...  I rescue them and find someone to love them in their new life.

Thank you for sharing, dear niece.  It touches my heart that something I made is still giving, and receiving, love. 

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!!

Quilt #3 for April

for my mom.....  


FYI:  the little cuties on the label are wearing flip flops because my mom is the flip flop queen!

It was a joint venture:  She knew exactly what she wanted...  I had made a similar quilt for a niece a couple years ago and she wanted one too. 

Mom ever so carefully picked the fabrics and as I pieced the hearts, she pressed, and then pulled the foundation paper off the back of the hearts as they were finished.

While she waited on me, she hand sewed the bindings on above quilts #2, 3, and 4.

We are both thrilled with her quilt, I am blessed to have this time with her, I deeply appreciate her help with these quilts, and I wish her a very happy Mother's Day.

oh, and mom, there is a quilt #5 if you have time before you go home.....   Just stayin'....

April's finished quilts #1 and #2

Gramma finally got the AZ twins (as I call them) a quilt.  Yes, very late.  Yes, I am ashamed.

The darling Grandson's quilt has been a long time coming but I think I hit the nail on the head and made up the perfect quilt for this rough and tumble boy.... 

I pieced it with shirting flannel and quilted with "dad's tools", including drills, hammers, saws, and nails.

This kid is happy with a hammer, a board, a bunch of nails, and a couple hours so maybe he will dream up his next project under this quilt!

(and yes, a lesson was learned about quilting over hand embroidered label with colored thread...)

And since twins happen to come in pairs, his twin received a quilt too!  

The darling Granddaughter has been so patient waiting for her quilt... She had already picked out the quilt she wants when she gets married, even though I won't hold her to it.

This one remained a surprise as she wasn't sure what she was going to get until she pulled it out of the bag. 

I must have chosen correctly as she loved it.  She immediately rolled up into her quilt even though its summer in Arizona.

I am so proud of these two kids and Gramma went home very, very happy!

Sometimes, a reminder is needed.  And I got one a couple days ago.

I wish I could say I was a person that recognized and appreciated blessings as they come my way.  Don't get me wrong, I DO see them and I DO know I am blessed, but I wish I could say that I was more appreciative of them on a more frequent basis...  like daily....  or hourly.

It seems that I am most likely to appreciate the blessings in my life when things don't go exactly as I had hoped.  I tend to stand back and admit that even though I didn't get this one, I see and appreciate the ones I DO get...  or have.

There are intangible things like love and honor and health and safety and faith and friendships.

Then there are tangible items like a warm, or cool, home and food and transportation and something to look forward to.

Tessa

Freeway

And then there are the blessings that are bestowed upon others and it spills over onto us.... 

like random acts of kindness (RAKs)and my family's health and the fur babies that came into my life.



Do you wonder why I included RAKs as someone else's blessings?  I believe that they are sharing the blessings they have.  In most cases, they do not personally know the recipient so its nothing that is pre-meditated...  thus, their blessings spill over onto someone else.

I continue to receive amazing blessings, and share some of my own....  old friends are back, family is as healthy as can be, love is abundant, and I am honored to host a holiday dinner for friends and family later this month. 

This holiday season, express your appreciation for the odd blessings that come into your life.  It just might be the blessing that someone else needs... it might just turn things around for someone... or it might just turn your life around.

They are everywhere, those blessings.  Don't just stop and smell the roses....  take a peek at your blessings too.

All opinions shared here are considered the property of ME and are what I choose to believe.   Every day, I  commit to being better than the day before. I am not perfect....  far from perfect....  my goal is only to improve.  I am, after all, a work in progress.

Judgment creeps its way into all relationships... even the most intimate. Every now and then, you meet someone who can listen without criticism or reproach.

These, you call friends.   

                                                                       

 (paraphrased from the movie About Alex)

Beautiful Libra

I believe this to be a very good definition of a friend. 

However, I believe we are human and are very capable of making mistakes or experiencing errors in the "social graces" with no real malice intended. 

Are any of us perfect?    NO.  

Can we always make things right?   NO.  Sadly, no.

 

Should we still try?  YES, because its the right thing to do.

I also believe that, as humans, we can judge unfairly when WE have had a bad day or are unhappy in our OWN lives. I have experienced that a friendship can withstand this if there is sincere understanding between the friends.

I feel that criticism / reproach done behind one's back is the most damaging to a friendship. This method, regardless of the reason or motive, can effectively eliminate the opportunity for real understanding if those involved are unwilling or unable to open honest communication.  This begs the thought that the criticizing one does not desire, is unable, or even unwilling, to be your "friend".  In that case, one should ACCEPT THE HINT.

(NOTE:  I want to make it clear that I have, and will always, respect a friend who helps me consider that I might be heading down the wrong path.  I WANT friends that can discuss sticky subjects with me.... Over and over if I need it....  because Libras are slow to make a decision... we must be SURE.)

He's right.

Being a Libra, I feel the obligation to give everyone a fair chance, no matter the subject matter. 

I feel the obligation to give everyone the benefit of the doubt...  the opportunity to explain themselves....  on and on.

However, I am not sure why it seems that giving someone the chance to hurt us over and over and over is "giving a fair chance"?  

How many chances are "fair"?

And when, as Libras, do we give OURSELVES a "fair chance"?

With the gentle guidance and amazing support of friends over the last several months and with the thought from the movie, I have managed to clearly think through a lot of things that I have been struggling with for a long time.

I cherish my friends and I cherish my acquaintances.  But it is important to me to know the difference.

At last, I can put this to rest.

 

But just in case... 

 can I move my birthdate?