Roses and Thistles at the Good Guys Car Show

I really needed to get out of the house so the hubby hauled me off to spend the day with the Good Guys and their rods at Westworld in Phoenix.  Probably due to grandpa's pickup, I was drawn to the old and rusty this trip.  

The Phoenix show is much smaller than the Des Moines show but still pretty huge.

First thing in the door, I see a completed Chevy rat rod.  Loved their custom door handles and steering wheel...

                                




and their patented braking system.

Then I found a Dodge similar to my (grandpa's) 1951 Dodge Pilothouse.....

It was offered for $9,000.00 and while I am certain I already have more than $9,000 in mine, theirs doesn't have my grandfather's name on the title!

There was so much to see but I will share just the highlights...  and the lowlights....  and the laughs.

Winner of the "oh my gosh" title.  My camera didn't even want to take a photo of this car.... 

"Ms. Oblivious" winner of the day.  This lady looked directly at me trying to photograph this car, smiled, and stood in front of me while she took her photo.  I assumed she wanted me to take a photo of her bum....  so I did....  but I wouldn't brag if I were her....

Winner of the "Mr. Obvious" title WITH the license plates and WITHOUT bum...   

"Too Long for ANY Garage" winner....  and for those shopping for torpedoes....

 

the "Over the Top" winner:  A 1951 Ford...  or at least it resembles one....

Chrome and leather and buckles everywhere... and yes, that's gold under that there hood....

Drum roll please....  my Favorite and Winner of THIS "Spectator's Award":

1948 Buick Roadmaster.  It is red and black and chrome and the owner was a wonderful guy!!

It was shiny and big and beautiful and so much fun to take photos of with all the lines and curves....

and powered by a massive in-line 8 cylinder engine

and last but not least, a tribute to my son Mike, who we teased resembled the Michelin Tire Man when he was but a wee tot!

I also picked up a sunburn, a few odds and ends, and wheels and tires for my pickup....  but that's another story.

Enjoy the view!!

Did you ever.... ?

Did you ever have a time in your life that you pondered just how different your life might have been if you had turned right instead of left?  Took that job instead of staying with this one?  Went to this restaurant instead of the one in the next town? 

Based on any choice we make, the circumstances surrounding that choice are completely different because the world around you is different:  you see different things, you meet different people, you hear different things, and you are involved in different events.   All of these things will influence the rest of your life, they must.

Daydreaming about a different life is fun but I think it is important to remember how much I would have lost out on if I HAD turned right.  My days would certainly be different...  and dreams would be different, too.

I am happy with my life...  or should I say that I am happy with the decisions I have made thus far?Those decisions are what gave me what I know as my family, my skills, my friends, my knowledge, my courage, and to some degree, a suggestive map of my future.   There is no way to know what opportunities or lessons I would have missed had I turned right instead of left.

Daydreaming is nice... but maybe its not too late to turn right.   Of course, turning right now would not be the same as turning right back then.  Maybe right just wasn't "right" for me back then.

I have many miles of road and mile markers of decisions behind me but there is still a lot of road in front of me, too.   What is to the right?  Should I find out?  What will I miss if I go right?  What will I miss if I don't?   And one always wonders about the right turns they miss, don't they?

One wonders how they will know which way to go now?  I believe there are signs.  There are always signs....  road signs, so to speak.    Other people's words and actions give me hints and guidance, there is Karma, and there are feelings.  I must trust my gut feelings to make the right choice.  I must make the choice that is the best for me.... I must choose the road that gets me to where I want to be.

Either way, I know the decisions I make will be the correct ones.  I make will be the ones meant for me at this particular moment in my life.  The choices I make going forward will hold the lessons I still need to learn.  

I am aware there will be lessons to learn no matter what route I take, but this I know:  it won't be boring.  I will arrive at my destination wind-blown, sun burnt, and glowing because the one thing I can control, no matter my choice, is that I enjoy my travels.  I will make sure of that....  and I guess there is always an opportunity for a left a few miles up the road if I find the road to the right a bit too bumpy.  My tushy is too old to travel a bumpy road for long.

I know that everyone doesn't love everything. I get it.  I really do! 
We have to get rid of the stuff we don't like...  we can't keep it all.

Even knowing that, it saddens me to see so much work being sold at yard sales or thrift stores for a little bit of nothing.

I rescued this little girl for the bargain price of $4. 

Yes, the colors date it but its still lovely and very nice work ! 

its already basted and ready to go!  A little quilting and a binding treatment and it will be done.

When good men do nothing, evil triumphs.

Ever heard of BACA ?

You may have HEARD them but not heard of them.

You may have SEEN them but not knew who they were.

You may have FELT their presence, but not known why they were there.

They are, for lack of a better description, a large group of big, scary, mean looking, leathered, loud, hairy, bunch of intimidating guys on big, loud, fast, chromed, motorcycles.   Riding together, they cause reaction in almost everyone.  Many might feel a bit nervous if they rode up your street and stopped in front of your house.  Many might even close their curtains and lock their doors, dialing 9-1 on their phone, just in case there is trouble.  Many would not feel safe in their midst.

But what if you were one of them?  What if they were 100% on your side?  What if they were tender and gentle with you?  What if you could walk up to any one of them and pull their beards and they laughed? or if you asked to wear their vest and it was placed on your shoulders oh, so gently?

If you were a child of abuse or if you have truly talked with anyone who suffered abuse as a child, you will appreciate... and respect...  what BACA  is all about.

BACA , or Bikers Against Child Abuse, is there for the kids... to protect the kids... to make the kids feel secure when someone is hurting them...  to stand up in court for the kids who have lived their whole lives intimidated by someone bigger then themselves. BACA members bring these scared kids into their family and make them members of their group.  And we all KNOW that you do not mess with a biker cuz the other bikers will get mad..  and they are scary when they aren't mad.  You just don't mess with them.  But what if you, as an abused child, were one of those bikers...  part of their family... Would you feel safe?

What if you were an abused child, feeling scared, and you called your new "family" any time, day or night, and you looked out the window in the middle of the night and there they were, their motorcycles parked on the street in front of your house, and they wave at you and blow kisses? Would you feel safe?  

What if you had to go into a courtroom and tell the judge about the terrible and painful things someone had done to you... and the person that did those horrible things was right there in that room with you.  Would you be afraid?  But what if those big mean hairy bikers that blew you kisses were in that courtroom with you?  What if your biker family was there to protect you?  Would you feel safe? 

That's what BACA is all about.  Their motto is "We won't give up, shut up, or let up until we have showed up for all wounded children..." and I would have given anything to have them with me when I faced something scary.

On October 11, 2014, BACA  is having their 6th Annual Arizona Awareness Ride.  The ride starts at the Chandler Harley Davidson with registration ($10) starting at 8am and breakfast served by Foothills HOG Chapter.   

Will you step up?

Information regarding the Awareness Ride is available at Chandler Harley Davidson, by sending an email to AZ5BACA@gmail.com, or by contacting Nytro at 602-722-3547.

I expect to see you there!  You DON'T want me to get my big, scary, mean looking, leathered, loud, hairy biker friend after you ! :)

"Defending" JoAnn's Fabrics?

http://lilredneedlebox.blogspot.com/


Sometimes...  OK, quite often, we see what we see and react to it, without knowing the whole story.  I found this article regarding the back story on JoAnn's.  While it doesn't make it "right", I am more aware of the limitations placed on the staff of JoAnn's.  Please consider the story below.

WARNING:  As is protocol, I asked the author for permission to post her story on my blog.  She agreed, as long as I include a warning that the The Bitchy Stitcher often uses very 'colorful' language.  If you are not offended by the language, you will most certainly be entertained by her writing! 

                                                    

Behind the Bolts

We all go there. It’s usually convenient; sometimes it’s the only place nearby to get that certain thing we need to finish (or start) a project. Sometimes the coupon does make the price pretty attractive. So, we go. And then we bitch about it after. Naturally, I’m talking about Jo-Ann Fabrics, the retail chain we all love to hate. There is one just minutes from my house—I could walk there on a nice day—and I have purchased tons of thread and batting and pillow forms and elastic and other things I really wanted to buy without ordering online or traveling many extra miles to my LQS to purchase. And on occasion, when I have made these trips, I have walked in, found what I needed, paid for it and walked out. Other times? Not so much.

 When people discuss Jo-Ann Fabrics, they tend to have two main complaints: you can’t find anyone to help you, and, if you do, they are cranky. Recently, I posted this photo on Instagram with the caption: “Hello? Helloooo! I just wanna buy one thing. It’ll only take a minute, I swear! Hello?”

 It just so happened that one of my Instagram followers was an assistant manager at a Jo-Ann Fabrics store, and she responded, “That’s what happens when they don’t let us have the coverage we need and want cashiers to do more and more further away from the registers. This happens on a default basis in my store, despite desperately trying to prevent it.” I asked her if she’d be willing to talk with me some more about working at Jo-Ann’s and the policies they have in place for employees, in order to get a better sense of what makes our experiences there so universally bad, and just who is responsible. And she agreed.

I worked many years in retail (though almost always for small business owners) and so I know how difficult the work can be, and how company rules can create insurmountable problems for both the shopper and the retail employee. It seemed to me that there is a general assumption that shopping at Jo-Ann’s is so bad because they probably don’t pay well and so can’t keep enough employees on hand or can’t keep good employees very long. What I learned is more complex than that, and truly opened my eyes to some of the realities of big chain business practices and how that affects both consumers and employees.

 For obvious reasons, my interviewee preferred to remain anonymous, so we’ll call her Employee X. Employee X has worked at Jo-Ann’s for 9 months and she is an assistant store manager. She was hired on in this position and works full-time. She is one of five full-time employees (four managers and one full-time worker) and she tells me that most stores have this many full-time employees. Her store also has 18 part-time workers, and part-time means they each work less than 28 hours per week. However, she says, a store might have more if the sales volume for that particular location warrants it. Her store is one of the large ones with custom framing and classes, so it has more employees than a store that doesn’t.

 If Employee X is working the opening shift, she arrives before the store opens and, among other tasks, walks the floor doing what is called a “daily store tour,” where a list is made of all the things that need to be done such as dusting, straightening displays, and cleaning up the stuff customers spill and leave on the floor just before closing the night before. Each of these tasks has to be ranked in importance and then assigned to an employee along with an estimate of how long each task should take. The list “gets added to as the day goes on, and can often span a few pages,” she says. After that, the manager on duty opens the registers, counts money, and does the daily deposit. The beginning of the day is also when any price changes are made, which usually happens twice a week.

 The management team has a LOT to do, and each manager may be a “lead” for a different aspect of running the store. There is the operations lead, who handles “audit(s) and charitable donations/discard, among other things.” The merchandise lead has to make sure all the displays are set up the way the diagrams (called planograms) sent to them from the corporate office dictate. Employee X says that whoever designs the planograms (she imagines his name is Roger) is on crack because there is always something wrong with the diagrams, which might not be evident until you are halfway through and you have to start over. There is also a store lead, and a freight coordinator (who handles unloading the truck, organizing the stock room, and stocking the store) plus another full-time person devoted to stocking. “Some stores have a full-time framing specialist; some have a full-time cashier—it all depends on their need and their volume.” The store lead, Employee X tells me, has, among other tasks, the job of “making sure we make payroll.” “Making payroll” is a phrase that crops up often in my emails with Employee X, and so eventually, I ask her to explain—and this is where things get really interesting.

 Each store has a fiscal week, and those weeks each have budget goals, both daily and weekly. The goals are determined by the corporate office and are a prediction based upon the previous year’s sales and an estimation of the cost to run and staff the store. Each daily goal added together gives the weekly goal, and a portion of the weekly goal goes toward payroll. So if the prediction is that the store will make X amount of money in that week, then a portion of that money is allowed to be used for payroll. “Every morning we do a calculation ((sales this week x scheduled selling hours) / earned hourly wage) to tell us how many staffing hours we have used. The summary tells us how many hours we have used vs. the calculation of how many hours we have earned.”

 So, if you have ever wondered why Jo-Ann’s doesn’t just staff every store with someone always at the register and someone always at the cutting counter and someone always available to help you find stuff (or multiple someones in any or all these places), this is why. Each store is only allotted a certain amount of money that can be spent each week on payroll, but the number of things that have to be done in a given day doesn’t also go down if the payroll budget goes down, nor does the budget for payroll increase if there is more that comes up to be done. On top of this, the payroll budget is somewhat tied to store performance, but is an esoteric calculation that is based on older sales numbers, not recent ones. So a store could have a suddenly busy season, but not get more payroll hours to use.

 Employee X says the corporate office “cares about payroll over everything.” Each store is pressured to come in “under payroll,” which means that they have to try and use fewer staffing hours than they have the budget for. And when I say “pressured,” I mean that they might get “written up” when they fail. Getting “written up” is another phrase that Employee X uses a lot, because apparently it’s a tool that is used a lot. Getting written up is a black mark on your record that can quickly add up to getting fired, so naturally everyone tries to avoid it. But that isn’t always easy at JoAnn’s.

 Because each store has to try to come “under payroll,” and thus keep staffing very lean, and because each staff member has a list of tasks that have to be done each day, it often happens that the staff on duty, and particularly management, has more to do than can reasonably be completed in one day. Jo-Ann’s doesn’t want to keep someone at the register all the time, because she could be doing one of hundreds of other things that need doing when there are no customers. Problem is, she has to get those things done by the end of her shift, or risk getting written up. Work overtime to get them done? No, because then the store would not make payroll. Clock out and do it on your own time? Nope—you can get written up or even fired for that. Employee X tells me she often goes with no breaks or meals for an entire day because of this, signing something called a “meal period exception” to keep corporate butts covered.

So, when you walk into a Jo-Ann’s and there’s no one at the register or at the cutting counter, it’s not because the person assigned to those places is lounging on the fleece bolts and taking a snooze. She has a long list of tasks to get done, and when there is no one at the register, she has to be working on them and they might not be located anywhere near the check-out. If you need help finding some particular item, and the person you ask doesn’t seem interested in guiding you to the correct area and discussing the relative merits of item A and item B with you, her shift may be almost over and she hasn’t been able to finish what she has to do and she’s worried about being written up. It doesn’t take being written up too many times before one is fired, and that’s a specter that hangs over everyone’s heads, even more so recently.

 A few weeks after working on this article with Employee X, she informed me that she had quit. Recently, corporate had started implementing something called “coaching documents,” which, she told me, “are basically mini write-ups to document when you talked with a team member about not using the right procedure to sell the item of the day, or ask for coupons, or sell tote bags (which is our new thing, and they’re awful), and I’m not about that. It goes against basically every study about productivity and behavior change. You don’t get real, genuine change by having your employees feel scared to not do it or get written up; you get change by making them feel empowered to do better and focusing on positives and building them up.” She had already decided to leave, but told her boss she refused to implement these changes for her last two weeks. Her health was suffering from the schedule and from never getting meal breaks, and she’s looking forward to getting her system back in order.

 It is very easy to assume that the way most businesses hope to attract and retain customers is through a policy of superior customer service (combined with competitive prices and selection), and that when the service we think we are owed is not forthcoming it must somehow be the result of employees just not caring enough to do their jobs properly. But that is not always the case, and especially when we are talking about very large, national chain stores. The daily and weekly tasks and goals that each store must meet preclude the employees spending a great deal of time with customers. When employees are skipping meals in order to complete their daily tasks, they simply aren’t allowed the luxury of taking time with customers. It’s not necessarily an issue of someone with a bad attitude who doesn’t “get” customer service. It is an issue of how large retail chains keep costs down in order to also keep prices low, while still maintaining expected profit levels.

 Add to this a chain-wide system of “write-ups” that document each time you fail to do something you are expected to do. Imagine having so many things to accomplish, and no way to add time or people to get them done, plus being worried that you’ll get written up for not finishing them. Or for forgetting to ask for coupons. Or for not using the right language to sell a tote bag. On an empty stomach.

 The takeaway I hope you get from all this is that Jo-Ann’s simply isn’t set up to be the place you go in order to interact with employees and get tons of advice and hand holding. And that it isn’t necessarily because the people there don’t want to help you, but because the staffing and payroll system prevents them from spending the time to do so. And demanding that they do when you go won’t change anything, but may end up getting someone written up. “Asking us to plan, design, sketch out, or otherwise be involved in your project is well beyond what we get paid to do, and can actually get us in trouble,” says Employee X.

 I believe there is a place in the quilting and sewing world for stores like Jo-Ann’s alongside independently owned shops (and yes, I prefer to shop with independents whenever possible). I have had a lot of quilters tell me that were it not for the cheap fabrics and thread they can get there, they would not be able to quilt at all. Sometimes, there simply isn’t a local independent shop close enough. However, we need to stop thinking of Jo-Ann’s as a place that should function exactly like those independent shops, just on a larger, and cheaper, scale. They don’t. And it isn’t necessarily the fault of the people on the sales floor.

 That’s not to say that I don’t believe places such as Jo-Ann’s can’t or shouldn’t change, only that the people on the sales floor are not the ones who can directly change it. If you think a large, corporately owned chain needs to change, you need to let the higher-ups know, not the workers. Write them. Don’t tie your comments to a particular store or employee, because that could result in unintended consequences for them, but let the big wigs know that the system as is stands makes customers angry and employees miserable.

- See more at: http://thebitchystitcher.blogspot.com/2014_09_01_archive.html#sthash.QPbUdtWj.dpuf

A surprise ending for my customer service woes

On April 18th, I ranted about some crappy customer service at a local fabric store.   With the encouragement of many, I took the next step and forwarded a link for my post to the fabric store on that same day via a facebook message.   I have notice that the message was read on Saturday, April 19th.

I waited and waited and waited and waited.

And I waited a little longer.

Today, I am sad to say that I have not received a single reply from the store.  Not one word.  Not an courtesy "We're sorry", not a computer generated "We strive for <enter generic apology here>", not ANYTHING. 

I admit that I expected some kind of response from the Glendale location of 35th Ave Sew and Vac and that I am very disappointed that they didn't take a couple minutes of their time to respond.  

Maybe they were just too busy.  Again, I do not expect that the store will go under because I go away an unhappy customer every time I am in there. 

I would like to say that there are nice things about this store:  there is one girl at the counter that sincerely tries to offer what I consider to be very good customer service.  I should know her name but I will apologize publicly that I do not.  If you shop there, I am sure you know to whom I am referring.  I commend her for her work, and I commend the store for hiring this diamond.  Also, they do have a very nice selection of fabrics. 

I generally do a lot of fabric shopping in Tucson as the quilt stores down there are A M A Z I N G.  The customer service is phenomenal and the prices are about the same.  Of the Tucson shops I have frequented, I have never had bad customer service.  How can that be? 

How can a Tucson shop offer something a Phoenix shop can not?   (that can't be it, other Phoenix area fabric shops are nice... and polite.... and caring....  and accommodating to the customer)

Does 35th Ave work the employees too hard?  (not that I can see)

Do they not care one way or the other? (I certainly hope that's not the case)

Have they become blasé about keeping their customer base even though there are LOTS of other places to shop?  (I would be curious to know if their sales are dropping)

At this point, I am left with the feeling that the store really doesn't care one way or the other how the customers are treated or how the customer feels about the treatment they receive.   I guess one has to appreciate that they feel their business is strong enough to weather bad publicity.

So, with all that being said, I will continue to shop at 35th ONLY when I can not find what I want at another valley fabric store.   In other words, as a last resort.

I am cursed with tactile needs and I have a very hard time shopping online for fabric.  I need to see and feel the fabric before I can buy it.  I can admit it....  I have needs....  fabric needs.  :)

May your day be filled with light and sunshine and roses....   and, at minimum, decent customer service.

Today's RANT!

Note:  Please hang with me thru this...  it has a happy ending!

While the work I did at the tail end of my career was at a VERY high level, part of the package I offered was customer service....  According to Wikipedia, "Customer service is a series of activities designed to enhance the level of customer satisfaction – that is, the feeling that a product or service has met the customer expectation."

Today started out wonderfully; I woke up on time, got through shower, etc, and was on the road to picking up things from 3 different sources.  It's Good Friday and it was going to be a good Friday!  I had to adjust the original order of my stops but it was not throwing a wrench into the workings of my day.

The first stop was a fabric store, which will remain unnamed.   I picked up what I went for (a year long, monthly obligation) and waited for appointment #2. 

While I waited, I wandered around the fabric store and picked up some clearance fabric that I could use.  As I neared the cutting table, I noted that 2 ladies had seated themselves at a nearby table, had bolts of fabric all over the table, and were in a deep discussion about the pros and cons of the fabrics.  

The employees doing the measuring and cutting of the fabric were both busy.

I should note that it is fairly common practice in fabric shops to allow customers to set their choices down (bolts of fabric can get heavy and bulky) and the store will provide some type of symbol (a placard, a bean bag, etc) to put on top of your pile so that everyone knows it belongs to someone and wasn't just abandoned.

As I look around for a place to set my fabric down, I see a container with laminated cards proclaiming "MY STASH" at the table filled by the ladies and their bolts of fabric.  I set down my bolts of fabric near the end of a cutting table and placed one of the placards on top of the bolts and waited my turn.

The ladies at the table spoke to me and I turned around to respond to them.  While we chatted, I was never more than 2 steps from MY STASH. 

An employee (its best NOT to ask me to describe her but I am fairly certain she had warts on her long pointy nose) came toward the three of us carrying my fabric choices and asked if belonged to any of us.  I explained that it was mine and I was waiting my turn. 

She proceeded to scold me, and I use this description based on the tone of her voice, and tell me that fabric selections are to go HERE (pointing to the table where the two ladies sat), not HERE (pointing to where I had set it).   I explained that I put it there because the ladies had their choices laid out......

The employee interrupted me and AGAIN explained that they go HERE and not THERE...  If they are put THERE, they would be put away.

I noted that I put the MY STASH placard on top so everyone would know it was wanted by someone and that I.....

Interrupted again, she said it didn't matter, it went HERE and not THERE or it would be put back.

I responded, in what I intended to be a calm voice (but can admit that it could have been dripping with something), that she could put it back if she wanted and then I could leave without buying anything.

The employee then pushed the lady's stuff aside and set my fabric down on the already full table...  saying that it goes HERE.

To be fair to her, maybe I looked like a 4 year old child and maybe it looked like I WASN'T there to spend $.  I made it out of the store without telling her how I thought MAYBE there could be a sign with rules listed...  Including the HERE and not THERE part....   (and exactly where that sign could be placed).

My previous experience with this same store was that I bought a part for a sewing machine; not a special part, just a part off a wall of sewing machine parts.   I ended up not needing it.   It was never opened, it still had their price sticker on it, was not damaged in any way, AND they had record of the purchase in their computer..... But I couldn't return it because I didn't have the receipt.  Result:  No receipt / store credit only.

<  R  O  L  L  I  N  G      M  Y     E  Y  E  S  >

Then I see my doctor a couple hours later...   my beloved doctor at Midwestern University in Glendale... and he stays late (the office closed at 3 today) to help me... and because we stayed so late, takes us out the back door when we are done. 

Three weeks ago when I separated a rib from cartilage, my allotted 10 minutes of doctor time at this office turned into 45 minutes...  they worked on me for 45 minutes and got the pain level down from 'excruciating' to 'tolerable' before they would let me leave.

Two examples... opposite end of the spectrum.    

I KNOW you are wondering why I go back to example #1?   I am ready for your question and I can tell you why:  They offer the pattern and fabric for a quilt top, as a block of the month, for $10.  Apparently I can be bought, but I will apparently bitch about it. 

Should you have a bad experience, may you follow it up with a good one....  from someone.... or someplace....  to cleanse your palate and reset your faith.  Sometimes, that is all we can hope for...  a reset.

On raising adults, not children

This is a RANT so be prepared...  either close this message and move to something else, or be aware that I am going to get going.

I would like to start with the disclaimer that I, in no way, profess to be an expert...  nor am I under any impression that I was a perfect mom....  far, very far, from it.

However, I DO believe that over-providing for, and over-protecting, our young (I am not referring to perverts and unsafe situations) ultimately hampers the natural process of maturity.

This 'rant' has been rolling around in my head for a while...  I read this article about a mother facing the challenges of giving being the "perfect" parent - and by that, I mean caving in to pressure from other parents, her kids, and her kids' friends.

I am aware that I made a million and a half mistakes raising my kids....  and probably another million and a half I am unaware of...  but I tried very hard to teach them that anything worth having is worth working for...  and do not give up until they get it.... 

Since my kids have grown, I have noticed some basic theories of life:
- Problem-solving skills are honed as we solve problem after problem.
- The more we do something (pretty much anything, really), the better we get at it.
- We pay for assistance from those more experienced (plumbers, attorneys, roofers, lawn care, etc) so there must be something to theory #1 and #2.

So for the sake of this rant, lets say that these three things are true.  

How does one think that giving everything to, and doing everything for, our young will teach them anything?  if they never do laundry, do we think that they will just know how to do it?  what if we, God forbid, should we die in some horrible crash along the highway one evening?  will they know how to make a grilled cheese sandwich?  stop the toilet from running?  collect the mail?  feed the dog?  I know you think I am being silly.... but what if??   are we preparing our young to cope with life if we aren't there???  and if we don't teach these things to our young, who will?

Without challenges and adversity (age appropriate, of course) in their life, how will our young develop the skills needed to solve problems on their own?  or develop coping skills? or find socially acceptable ways to handle frustration or anger?

How will they learn the value of people, places, and things?  This world is already too disposable.   There is not an endless supply of ANYTHING out there and if they don't understand that something has value, how can they respect it, take care of it, and (in the case of our Mother Earth) nurture it?  People are not disposable, our environment is not disposable, and if we respected the who/what/where/and how that is around us, some of the other things might take care of themselves.

A tree.  And let's say the tree is in the way of where we want to build our newer, bigger garage for our newer, bigger "toys". 
- Do we consider another location on the property to build the garage?
- Can we trim the tree, rather than cut it down, to build our garage?
- Could we cut the tree down but plant three other trees to maintain nesting for birds, the cleansing of our air, the benefits to the soil, the replacement of the lumber we will building the garage, the beauty of a tree, and the shade and protection the tree provides to both humans and animals?
- Or do we cut the tree down, build the garage, and call it a day?

Do we teach our kids these lessons? 

Have you seen the commercial about the kid lounging around the house, then makes a phone call.  In the background, the older female slowly shuffles to answer the phone.  On the other end of the line is the kid asking grandma for a soda.   Seriously?   The kid should be OFFERING to get grandma something to drink and apologizing for being such a lunkhead!!

Turn off the TV, unplug the internet, and, just for an hour, DO SOMETHING ELSE!!!  What happened to family time?  how about a board game (ahh, a rainy afternoon of Monopoly or the hilarity of Twister)....  cards (who remembers how to play canasta?)....  building a bird feeder (do kids even do that any more?)....  dress up in ridiculous things and have a tea party with dolls and stuffed animals (I want to do this one!)....  how about painting on rocks.....  or feed the ducks (preferably something healthy) at the park.... it doesn't have to be anything strenuous...  just start with SOMETHING without a screen or earphones. 

Teach the young how to skip a rock...  play in the mud when its raining.....   whistle with a helicopter from a tree (remember those?)...  even lip syncing to the oldies is great fun....  

And don't even get me started on "please", "thank you", and responsibilities...  helping around the house...  picking up trash around the block you live on....  cleaning out the car....  helping take care of the places they spend their time.

Several months ago, DH and I were at Walmart grabbing a quick Subway on the way home from someplace.  In the back of the Subway at a large table was a woman with a lot of kids.  As we ate, we imagined the woman ran a day care...  or maybe she was watching assorted kids while friends went to a movie...  or maybe they were hers...  but there were so many kids....  and so close in age....

As the children finished eating, each old enough to do so would clean up their papers, mess, and drinks, ask permission, and take the trash to the receptacle.  As each child would pass us, we would hear 'excuse me' and 'thank you'.  The child would then return his or her seat and wait for the rest to finish.  There was seat wriggling and low volume giggling but overall, the behavior of the children was impressive.

Once the woman had finished her meal and cleaned up for the youngest children, an older child would offer to take the refuse.  Again, I was completely in awe.  In the time we watched, I heard ONLY one snap of fingers to stop some unseen errant behavior.

As the children filed out ahead of the woman, I stopped her and commended her on the behavior of the children.  Her face lit up and she thanked me.  I asked if they were hers...  yep, every one.  I again complimented her on her children's behavior.  We chatted a moment and she and the children proceeded into Walmart to shop.

As DH and I left Walmart, we are pretty sure we saw her vehicle....  I was not exaggerating...  yep, she had seven kids... between 12 and 2 years of age. 

Teach kids that life isn't always fun.
Teach kids to be respectful..... of things, of people, and of the planet on which we live.
Teach kids that things ruined or broken do not just magically get replaced.
Teach kids that fun isn't disposable....  or expensive.

Teach kids....  something....   anything.....    everything. 
And in teaching them, we will learn.  Learn to, once again, see things through the eyes of a child...  to see things simply as they are...  to take joy in the flapping of a butterfly's wings.... to see the wonder that is this Earth...  to trust...  to be.