Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Emotions have been running rampant around here.

I took my mom home after spending about 2 months with us.  She is 75.

My high school graduating class held a reunion....  I won't say what number but will admit its between our 35th and 45th. 

I did not attend but as fallout from the reunion, many joyous things  happened. 

Things like getting in contact with some I haven't seen or heard from for YEARS. 
....things like hearing that the petty "high school" crap softened or perhaps even disappeared, along with hairlines and waistlines.
....things like being reminded of happy high school things I managed to forget even though I could remember icky stuff.
....and things like healing old hurts between old friends.

So I reflect....

I love my mom....   our lives weren't easy for many, many years...   we have been through A LOT together, and separately.  We discussed it.

An old, old friend reached out to me asked to discuss an old hurt.  I had always hoped that we could find a way around it...  even if we figured it out 38 years later.  We discussed it.

There was a lot of pain for my mom, for my old friend, and for me... and, as an adult, I do not hold them responsible for the hurt I felt.  I understand the "why"s and the "how"s of the hurt.... but deep down inside, tiny little scars of  hurt remains.  Time and reflection has made them smaller, much smaller, but I want them completely GONE.

My mom and I lived 100s of miles away from each other...  and circumstances made it difficult to spend any long term, quality time together in many, many years.  

The choices that I, and my old friend, made took us in different directions.  I want our friendship again.

My mom said our time together helped her to feel closer to me.  I like that.

These things make me happy....  and sad.
Happy remembering what those relationships once were.... 
Sad for what happened to cause the hurt.... 
Sad for all the time that has passed....
and VERY happy that things are changing.

While mom and I reminisced....
While we shrunk the hurt...
While we discussed my old friend...

We had lots of time to sort and fold fabric and play cards.

  In the end, with tears in our eyes, my mom and I smiled about all of it.

Mom brought me a hummingbird twirly thing from her trip to Indiana....
because I love my hummingbirds...  and, of course, its red. 
While I was taking the photo of the twirly thing, our most aggressive hummer
stopped by for a snack and photo bombed us.

Life is good.
I am blessed.

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