Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Some people just have NO sense of humor!

I was at the dentist today getting those pesky caps.  I admit I was a bit nervous.   Both upper, and 1 on each side.  JOY!!

I decided to have them both done at the same time because I doubted I would go back for #2 if I did just 1 today.  I think its important to know your limitations.

Doc gets me all numbed up and shot up on each side and he is ready to go.  Except the jack hammery, drilly thingy wouldn't work - apparently it wouldn't squirt water.   He tried and tried - fortunately, he was trying outside my mouth and not inside my mouth.  He tried some more.  They went to look for another.... all were being used.  He tried again.  

Slowly, I was getting uncomfortable....  I was afraid:
#1 - I was all numbed up for nothing and would have to come back.
#2 - I was all numbed up and it was going to wear off before they got their crap together. 
#3 - just because.

So they get it going - not sure how - I quit paying close attention.   I had the pod in my ears and was squeezing it with all I had while they did their thing. 

I was all numbed up and zoned out, rocking to Jimmy Buffett.  A good place to be.   hmmm...  people started running around and sticking new things in my mouth.   Not scary "running around" but I knew something happened.  Started listening to them and hearing "I irritated the gum".  HA !!! (I am guessing) they nicked me and I just bet I am bleeding.  

In my mind's eye, I am seeing them super-gluing it closed (again, a guess on my part).

Remember that my entire upper mandible is completely numb and my upper lip felt about 10 times its normal size.

Doc says to nurse-y person...  "I need some alcohol."

I mumble in a voice that I imagine to sound already drunk...  "me, too.  Rum and coke please."

No one laughed.   <rolling eyes> 
I went back to the Buffett.  Jimmy gets me.

Cap #2 went much better.

But the torture wasn't over.  I still had to get my teeth cleaned.  Things start to really fall apart... The hygienist tells me to close my mouth so the water can be suctioned out of my mouth.  Lady, if I could, I would.  She has to literally fold my (seemingly Johnsonville Brat sized ) swollen lips around the suction thingy. 

On my way out, I stopped at the receptionist's desk to...  well, sign away my 3rd born child.  I am standing there trying to speak with a completely dried out mouth, no control over my upper lip, and my Johnsonville Brat lip sticking to my front teeth.  What comes out of my mouth is a sound that I could be blaming on the dog.

I went home.  And it really was almost 5 o'clock.

(but through all of this, I have to admit that I felt no actual pain.  Thanks doc!)

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