Friday, March 31, 2017

My brother, Jay

My brother, Jay, recently passed away at the age of 52 after suffering a fatal cardiac arrest. I am honored to be the sister of Jay and I am proud of the donations of organs and tissue he has provided to help countless families lead a longer and better life. 

As a part of my grieving and healing process, I have complied my own obituary of sorts from information I hold and things I have heard people say about Jay over the last several weeks.

Jay was born May 23, 1964, in Minneapolis, MN.  He lived most of his childhood in the Des Moines, IA area and moved to Denver, CO in 1979, where he spent the remainder of his life.
Jay’s passions were music (loud, of course), motorcycles, fishing, and spending time with his family, raising his four youngest children alone for the last three years.  He loved his morning coffee, old cars, collecting antiques, and the Broncos.  Jay was known to be just a “bit” stubborn with a stern low voice, even when he was teasing.

Jay was talented, creative, devoted, and loyal.  There was nothing Jay could not learn, do, fix, or build.  I heard Jay's boss that that Jay had the ability to change things around him...  houses, cars, motorcycles, and yes, even people... and always for the better.   He made a difference to so many lives in so many ways.
Jay’s heart was as big as his 6’5” frame as evidenced when he helped his entire neighborhood get to the grocery store during a particularly wicked snowstorm.  He was admired for his work ethic and was often heard to say, “there is nothing wrong with going home tired and dirty and knowing your family is taken care of”.
Jay’s family and friends often fell victim to Jay’s late evening calls and middle of the night texts.  His mother especially looked forward to hearing his “Hi mom, how are you?” during these calls.
Jay crossed peacefully across the bridge and through the gates on February 27, 2017, taking with him a piece of all those that love him.  As Jay’s youngest daughter, Bryanna, said, “my daddy has angel wings now”.   I know he is on the other side of the bridge, rockin', ridin', and fishin' with his angelbrothers and others who have gone before him.
Jay’s last gifts to this world was the organ donation of his kidneys to two families and tissue, such as cornea, spinal cord, long bones, tissue, etc, which will benefit many who suffer catastrophic things such as burns or facial disfigurements.  I am proud to be his sister.
Jay is survived by his children, Krystal, and Jayson, Jeffrey, Jack, and Bryanna, along with his mother, Barbara, and his siblings, Jacki, James, and Juliann, one grandchild, nieces, nephews, cousins, and other relatives and friends who love him and will remember his always..
The four minor children are together and safe and it is our family's intent to keep them where they are and support the wonderful family member that has asked to share her arms, heart, and home with these children.  Funds have already been gathered for legal expenses and the costs of immediate needs for the children. 

However, due to the lengthy illness that proceeded Jay's passing, he could not leave a secure future for his youngest children.  If you feel moved to help me assist with the post-secondary education for Jay's four minor children, Jayson, Jeff, Jack, and Bryanna, I have set up a Memorial Account at Wells Fargo Bank.  Donations may be made by check to me or at any WF location and applied to Wells Fargo "For the kids" Account #9703925777.   Should you make a donation at the bank, please let me know so I can properly thank you.

Our family is asking that everyone be trained in CPR and I have been advised that the WF location where Jay suffered his fatal cardiac arrest is pursuing CPR training for their branch.

CPR: learn it and use it.  CPR can save lives.

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