I just haven't been feeling well lately. I bought back an upper chest congestion thing from our holiday travels and, with fibro, everything is intensified including the fibro symptoms. Every day is a crap shoot as to whether I will feel well enough to spend any amount of time in a vertical position.... much less be productive. Some days, I feel very slug-like.
I will have a somewhat good day, do what I hadn't done the last 3 not-good days, and to show appreciation for this, the chest thing will flare up and the fibro says, "oh yeah, I don't THINK so".
I am grumpy and everything is making me cry (yes I know... depression or hormones), but its not like that. I think I can take only so many days in a row of feeling so bad.
I was out ALL DAY yesterday doing some charity work yesterday.... picking up clothing for the victims of last year's Yarnell wildfires, and some purchased and donated fabric for the stash for our little group that puts together quilts for disasters. Today, I am paying for the joy of doing good things yesterday. It was worth it, but, it will be another day of using every ounce of energy I have to get something from the fridge.
I read someplace that people need 3 things to be happy. I will be honest and say that I was surprised at the list. Over the years, with these 3 things in the back of my head, it turns out life is really pretty simple. We, as humans, make it hard.
I am going to share my take on what I think the 'needs' mean, especially as I grow older. I think that if I had small kids, I could write forever on how these things affect a child's development and attitude. But for today, it will be all about me.
So to be happy, we need these 3 things: Something to love.... Something to do.... Something to look forward to.
While I think they could have added 'something to laugh at', I was especially interested in the "something to love" and that it was not "something to love us", but I have decided that they are on the $$. I don't believe they are referring to a spouse, or the far flung kids, or grandkids, I believe they are talking about the here and now. I believe that the "to love" could be a pet, a cause, a religion, a good book, a vehicle, a hobby.... anything that evokes passion in you. Your passion's object can change from day to day... or month, or year to year, but feel strongly about something and share your passion. Sharing makes it real... and flows into the next need.
'Something to do', I decided, meant responsibility.... a reason to have a schedule.... a cause and effect thing. Responsibility usually means that if you don't do it, someone or something is wondering why your failure has affected their day. This responsibility thing has become more important as I grow older. Retired, I think it could be so easy to become a spectator of life, rather than a participant. So I make plans, put them on the calendar, and involve other people.. this forces the responsibility on me to do.. or be.... or perform... on schedule. The caveat is that fibro can be a bitch and plans must sometimes be altered. And just like the last need, this one works its way into the last need.
With fibro, very day, I look forward to getting out of bed and feeling well enough to create something. My 'something to look forward to' is sometimes just praying for another good day like yesterday. No long hikes in my future... no strenuous activity. But maybe a cruise? Another trip to Hawai'i would be wonderful. A motorcycle ride up the coast of California? But those are big things, and I need to break it down a bit... more immediate gratification, so to speak. Little things like visits with the grandkids, family, friends, short motorcycle trips, cuddling with Tessa, and creating.... there is always something to look forward to every day.
How blessed am I to have all 3? But now that I understand what they really mean, I think I have always had all 3 but didn't appreciate them for what they were. Looking at life with these 3 things in mind, you can realize that no matter how much you have or how little you have, your attitude is the most important asset. I believe that your attitude allows you to find the important things in life... and treasure them.
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